Where To?

I'm officially no longer a student. I have no job. I have mounting debts. For the first time I can remember, I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing this time next week. Or the week after. Or the week after that.

And it feels fucking fantastic.

[Image: Getarooman]

Major Movie Motion Picture

Feature-length student film 'Six Semesters' has secured a spot at this year's Galway Film Fleadh, which takes place next month. Production began on the film three years ago (six semesters ago, if you will) and its development has been something of a 'labour of love' for writer/director John McKeown. 

Set over the course of a three year degree at DCU, 'Six Semesters' follows student Eddie (Dallan McCormick), who finances his student life by operating a service that helps students ditch unwanted other halves. Perhaps unsurprisingly, having a part-time job like this makes Eddie doubtful of the merits of romantic relationships, but his skepticism is challenged when Ailbhe (Marie-Claire Hoey), a girl he meets on the very first day of college, begins to feature heavily in his increasingly complicated life.

The film was shot almost entirely on DCU campus and features an all-student cast that includes MTV presenter Laura Whitmore and a number of the stars of the acclaimed production of 'Rent' that recently packed out audiences in The Olympia. The film premiered in Dublin last year but is likely to undergo some fairly drastic revisions before being screened at 'Cinemobile' in Galway on Thursday, the 9th of July.

Let's hope The Bubble Boy's scene-stealing role as 'Boy in Library #2' isn't a victim of the cutting room floor...

[Image: Sarah Cramer]

Who Likes Short Shorts?

This evening, I finally got around to watching 'Paris, Je T'Aime', eighteen short films by different directors under the theme 'Stories of Love, from the City of Love'. The quality inevitably varies from one short to the next but, more often than not, the directors get it right. If you haven't already seen this, I'd recommend getting your mits on a copy.

In the meantime, it's worthwhile checking out homegrown short film 'Skint', written by Brendan O' Rourke.

The screenplay was originally submitted for RTE's Storyland Competition but wasn't among the selected finalists. A group of final year Communications students from DCU decided to use the screenplay however.

Having seen the finished product, I reckon it's better than some of the screenplays that RTE plumped for:


"I'd just be pushing the foam about my face, but in a sore way." Amazing.

Full list of cast and crew on the Youtube page.

This Year's Rent...

I stumbled across this piece in today's Independent, singing the praises of the DCU troupe that are set to perform 'Rent' in The Olympia next month.

I have found myself taking on responsibility for the production's wardrobe once more. Darning needles at the ready...

If you haven't seen the show yet, you better pencil it into your diary now. Check out this here video of the show, from its initial run in The Helix, for a taster of what to expect:



Tickets for the bigger, better and even more AIDS-riddled production in The Olympia can be booked here.

In Good Company

I'm beginning to realise that I'm surrounded by people that positively ooze creative talent. I'd already come to accept that, in a few years' time, some of these people will have established themselves as successful playwrights, photographers, directors, artists, graphic designers and actors. Well, looks like we can add novelist to that list.

The Tribune gave my friend Eimear Ryan a lovely write up in today's paper. Eimear was the recipient of the 'First Fiction' prize at the Hennessy X.O. Literary Awards at a glitzy ceremony in The Four Seasons last week.

The piece that deservedly won her this prestigious accolade was 'Caterpillar', which was published in The Tribune last year.

Eimear keeps a literary-themed blog, 12 Stories, that features a selection of her work as well as some other interesting musings. Be sure to check it out.

[Image: John Boyne]

In Hairier Times...

Behind the scenes footage of Ireland's first feature length movie motion picture, Six Semesters, has surfaced. The film was written, produced and edited in DCU over a two year period.

Aside from the footage itself being pretty hilarious, it's crazy to see how much the cast and crew have grown up since the project began. Collectively, they've shed enough hair to make a village of follically challenged Barbies very happy.








Posted with the kind permission of the film's director, John McKeown.

R.S.A.G. Interview

Despite the fact he’s Rarely Seen Above Ground, I managed to track down Jeremy Hickey ahead of his DCU gig.

Hi Jeremy. You were involved in Kilkenny-based band Blue Ghost before R.S.A.G. What prompted you to go solo?

Blue Ghost actually started out as my own project in the mid-nineties before I met the others and we formed the band. We haven’t done anything for a few years now and the others are doing the own thing. One of the guys actually mixed the R.S.A.G. album.

The R.S.A.G. album 'Organic Sampler' is difficult to describe in terms of conventional genres. Were you worried that people wouldn’t know what to make of it?

I never really thought of it in those terms. A far as I was concerned, I was really happy with the album and just wanted to get it out there. I’ve been really surprised by the positive response to the album. I never expected it.

Your performance as one of the nominees for the Choice Music Prize last month in Vicar Street was well received. Do you think a live setting is the best platform for your music to be enjoyed?

Personally, I think so, yeah. It’s more fun for me and I think there’s a bit more energy in the live performances, especially because it’s my first album. It can be disappointing when you go to see bands and find they don’t sound as good as they do on their records. I always wanted to play Vicar Street so it was great to have the chance. They have a really good system there.

Do you think the Choice Music Prize will ever be held in the same esteem as the Mercury Prize?

I’m not sure if it will ever be seen as an Irish equivalent to the Mercury Prize because Ireland is relatively small. I think it’s great that all the artists nominated benefit from some exposure. I definitely did.

Visuals play a huge part in your live sets. How much time do you devote to that aspect of the performance?

R.S.A.G. is a collaboration between me and a guy called Paul Mahon, who does the visuals. Putting together the visuals is a lot like the recording process. The footage has to be filmed and then edited. We spent about two weeks matching up the visuals to the musical arrangements.

What’s next for R.S.A.G.?

I’m beginning a nationwide tour on 20th of April and I’m gonna play a couple of European festivals over the Summer. For now, I’m focusing on promotion.

[Image: Nialler9]

Olympia Bound

The DCU Drama production of 'Rent', for which I was costume manager, has been granted a week-long run in The Olympia, Dublin, beginning 15th of June. If you're a musical fan and missed this production first around, you have no excuse to miss it next time around.

Tickets will be available from here from some point in the next few days.




[Images: John Donnelly]

Mundy Interview

(Published in this week's Campus Magazine)Mundy’s duet with Sharon Shannon ‘Galway Girl’ was the most downloaded Irish track of 2007. Remarkably, the song went on to repeat that same achievement in 2008. Songs as big as that sometimes threaten to eclipse the careers of the artists responsible but Offaly man Mundy has returned to show there are even better songs in his arsenal than ‘That Song From The Bulmers Ad’.

Hi Mundy. Congratulations, I hear you’ve a new addition to your family.

Yeah, my daughter was born a couple of weeks ago. She only came home from the hospital yesterday. The whole experience is very new to me.

Your track with Sharon Shannon, ‘Galway Girl’, has been pretty much inescapable the past eighteen months. Are you sick of the song?

No, I’m not sick of it. What was weird about ‘Galway Girl’ was that it was around for a while and nobody really heard it and then suddenly it was everywhere. I think some of the stuff I’ve done for the new album is better than ‘Galway Girl’ though. It’s a little bit fresher.

What can we expect from your new album ‘Strawberry Blood’?

The stuff is quite indie-pop in the vein of the stuff on ’24 Star Hotel’. There’s a great variety of stuff on there. I tried to cut it down from fourteen tracks but I couldn’t choose between them so I left them all in the end.

One of the album’s tracks, ‘The Corn & The Orange Sun’, has an interesting history. Can you tell me about that?

I had the opening lines of this song when I wrote my first album. I finished it a few years later but it didn’t really fit on the last studio album. It was just a matter of finding the right home for the song.

There are a few collaborations on the album, including one with Gemma Hayes. How did this come about?

I know Gemma anyway but Joe Chester, who produced the album, plays in her band, so we got her in last minute to sing on the track. It’s a pity we couldn’t get her on a couple more of the tracks but she’s based in America a lot of the time so that makes things awkward.

Your first album was released on a major label? Do you think you’d go back down that route?

I wouldn’t rule it out. I was dropped by that record company around the time of the millennium but the singer-songwriter thing kinda took off shortly after that so maybe it was a bad call for them. The music industry’s in a funny place now but I think the percentage you get back is probably better if you release it yourself.

Your song 'To You I Bestow' was on the soundtrack for Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo and Juliet'. How did that come about?

Baz Luhrman had recruited Nellee Hooper, from the band Soul II Soul, to look after the soundtrack and he selected my song. I never met Baz but apparently all decisions go through him so he must have approved of the track. They album sold 11 million copies so it was huge exposure. They actually released a 10th anniversary edition recently but they credited a broadway composer, James R, Mundy, instead of me. I'm still trying to figure out if some of my royalties have gone astray.

Mundy’s ‘Strawberry Blood’ is out 17^th of April. He plays Whelan’s from 23^rd – 25^th of April.

[Image: Myspace]

I'll tell it once, one time because it deserves to be told, and then never again...

I realise posts have been few and far between of late. This isn't the place to go in to details as to why this has happened but let's just say I've been otherwise engaged.

As I knuckle down to college work and thesis (oh lord) I'll probably become a little more prolific. There's one last distraction before that happens though... Bash.

Against my better judgement, I took on directing a show in my final semester in DCU. 'Bash: Latterday Plays' is written by Neil LaBute and sees four seemingly harmless, 'ordinary' people invite you to lend an ear as they reveal murky secrets and patch together twisted tales.

Despite all that's gone on in recent weeks, and thanks to trojan efforts by the cast, the show miraculously came together in time for a performance last Friday in Limerick as part of the Irish Student Drama Association's annual festival.

I've been to the ISDA Festival five times and, during that time, DCU Drama won just one award and was nominated in a further two categories. Incredibly, 'Bash' managed to scoop two awards: 'Best Actress' for Megan O' Riordan and 'Best Director' for yours truly. We even clinched a further two nominations for 'Best Overall Production' and, ahem, 'Best Lighting Design'.

The show has a run in DCU this week, Tuesday and Wednesday @ 7:30 in The Venue.

Come see it if you can!

Michelle Doherty Interview

When TV3 took over ailing television channel Channel 6 last year, many were outraged by the decision to drop the ‘Night Shift’ music show, fronted by Donegal woman Michelle Doherty. I caught up with the former model to see what she’s up to these days.

Is it true you were once an air stewardess?

I was an Air Stewardess for nearly 11 years. I even kept it on while I was presenting ‘Nightshift’ on Channel 6. When I got a job presenting on Phantom FM, it was too much to juggle three jobs. So, I took the leap and thankfully have no regrets.

How did you wind up working on 'Night Shift'?

I happened to mention to my agent that I would like to try presenting, specifically music presenting. Two months later, she heard that Channel 6 were looking for a music presenter so I went along for a screen test and the rest, as they say, is history.

How do you think Channel 6 fared as a project before being taken over by TV3 and rebranded as 3e?

It was tough going starting off as a new channel but I thought It was a great station. It catered for the 18-35 year old market. It was very upsetting that it just didn't get the break it deserved.

How did you feel about the decision to cancel 'Night Shift'?

I was absolutely devastated. My producer Elton and I loved our jobs. We put our heart and soul into the show so, when it came to recording the last show, it felt like we had lost something really special. The backlash from the public to the decision to cut the show meant the world to us. It was only then we realised how important the show had been to our viewers and to the Irish bands it had provided an outlet for.

There's an old cliché about having 'a face for the radio'. Isn’t your beautiful visage somewhat wasted behind the mic at Phantom FM?

Oh God, don't embarrass me, I don't think about that at all. As long as people enjoy the show, that’s all that matters to me.

How did it feel to be named ‘Best Radio DJ’ in the recent Hot Press readers’ poll?

It was better than winning The Lotto. I only started with Phantom at the end of July. I was so terrified as I had never done radio presenting before. To be named ‘Best Radio DJ’ was amazing, and for once I felt proud of myself.

Which bands, Irish or otherwise, should we be keeping an eye on over the next few months?

I really like Villagers, Conor O Brien’s new baby. His new E.P called ‘Hollow Kind ‘is definitely worth checking out and you should go see him live if you get the chance.

Do you have any other projects in the pipeline?

There’s always something going on but, for now, I’m really enjoying my job in Phantom.

Michelle’s show ‘Finest Worksongs’ is broadcast from 10:00-1300, weekday afternoons on Phantom 105.2 FM.

Published in the current issue of DCU's Campus Magazine

[Image: Kip Carroll]

Plugging, Baby

Here's the obligatory post about two events taking place over the next couple of weeks that I'm involved in:

DCU Drama are tackling Broadway Behemoth 'Rent' and putting it on in The Helix, DCU this week from Tuesday the 24th to Thursday the 26th.

Ambitious, right?

Well, I've attended a few rehearsals and, let me tell you, this is shaping up to be one hell of a show. The vocals in particular are mind-blowingly brilliant.

Yours truly has been organising costumes for the show. It suffices to say that, at this stage, I'm completely desensitised to the embarrassment of purchasing skimply pink dresses and PVC trousers.

Tickets can be booked here. Miss this at your peril.

The fourth annual DCU Fashion Show takes place on Wednesday the 1st of April in The Mahony Hall, The Helix, DCU.

This year's theme is 'Cirque Du Couture' and the event will be hosted by MTV's Laura Whitmore who, rather fittingly, was a model in the first ever DCU Fashion Show back in 2006.

The fact that last year's event was named Best Society Event in an Irish College or Uiversity says more about the calibre of this show than I ever could.

Tickets can be booked here. Go on. You never know who you might see striking a pose on the catwalk...

I Digs It

DCU Journalism graduate Laura Whitmore is continuing her upward trajectory in the world of entertainment. Laura won a year-long presenting contract on MTV after beating thousands of other hopefuls in the 'Pick Me MTV' search for a news-anchor last April. With a prominent spot on MTV's new 'Digs' show, it looks like her contract is likely to be renewed.



She was also drafted over to host an audience with Clive Owen as part of the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival and Karen sent me this link where she ably tackles Lorraine Keane and Team Exposé.

Whitmore, I salute you.

[Photo: Lili Forberg]

Arts and Minds

(published in The College View, February 2009)

It’s all over our newspapers, our televisions and our radio sets. Businesses are using it for all manner of promotional gimmicks. It’s the taxi-man’s topic of conversation du jour. And we’re blaming it for everything from job-losses to ingrown toenails. As Rolf Harris might say: “Can you tell what it is yet?”

The Recession really is inescapable. But as exasperating as it might be to hear people whinge and complain about it constantly, few would deny that the economic downturn has had very real implications for many facets of our society.

As prophesised by the doomsayers, unemployment has risen steadily, consumer spending has dropped and national debt continues to mount. Interest groups can protest all they want, but Brian Lenihan and his cohorts have decided that tightening governmental purse strings is the best approach to take to salvage our tattered economy and that’s unlikely to change.

With less tangible benefits than, say, public transport or healthcare, the cultural arts are perceived as more ‘dispensable’ and, as such, are a likely target for cutbacks. So, is Ireland’s relatively lively arts scene fated to wither and die or is there, perhaps, a silver lining to this big R-shaped cloud?

With less funding to share round, the volume of projects receiving Arts Council funding is inevitably going to drop. However, if creative types are forced to raise the standard of their work in order to secure grants and bursaries over rival applicants, it’s possible that we’ll benefit from an improved quality of output. Moreover, less investment in the arts will encourage greater levels of innovation and lateral thinking as artists are forced to improvise alternative, more cost-effective ways of ‘realising their visions’.

Editor of ‘Vanity Fair’, Graydon Carter, recently remarked that, during the Great Depression in the 1930’s, “creative talent flowered as in no other period of the last century” in the United States. Carter claimed that, in the period of economic turmoil following the Wall Street Collapse, American culture “stopped being all about money, and the country survived and ultimately flourished.”

Although it might be little consolation to those reluctantly joining the back of the dole queues, a perk of being unemployed is that it affords people a lot more free time. For some, this time might be invested in lying in for an extra couple of hours in the morning or catching up with ‘Oprah’, but others may use their decongested schedules as an opportunity to explore their own creativity. It’s only a matter of time before we see plumbers turned poets, receptionists turned rock-singers and school principals turned sculptors, as people get the chance to hone creative talents they’ve previously ignored in favour of a 9 to 5.

A whole generation of Irish people have grown up under the auspices of beloved Celtic Tiger, blissfully unaware of previous economic difficulties that blighted our dear nation. Undesirable as experiencing financial hardships might be, it’s bound to expand our horizons somewhat and maybe even inspire a little creativity. Will St. Leger’s ‘Free Art Friday’, held last month, is just one example of a number of recent cultural events inspired by the economic downturn.

Poverty was a major component of the Irish identity until relatively recently so perhaps the current economic gloom will foster a greater understanding of the art and culture that predated our prosperity. It’s unlikely that a revival of sean-nós story-telling and set-dancing will sweep the nation but some might be surprised to discover just how much fun can be had on a shoestring budget.

Perhaps the key to the question as to whether culture will flourish or flounder lies in the fact that, when times get tough, the arts tend to assume a greater significance.

When we tire of dreary news reports and ‘insufficient funds’ messages, the arts can offer a form of escapism, reassuring us that things have been better and reminding us that things could be worse. Perhaps more importantly, the arts provide us with necessary outlets to express our frustrations, our disappointments, our fears, and our hopes for a brighter, recessionless future.

[Image: Fine Art Blog]

Pony Club Interview

(Originally published in Campus Magazine, February 2009)

With a career stretching back to when Miley Cyrus was in nappies, Mark Cullen is a veteran of the music industry by today’s standards. Despite his extensive back-catalogue, Cullen’s band Pony Club’s latest album ‘Post Romantic’ is being hailed by many critics as the best work of his career.

When I ring him for the interview, he hangs up on me. Mildly insulted, I try again. “Sorry, I’m just driving at the moment,” he says. “But go ahead, I’m on a country road and there’s no gardaí around.” Conscious of the hazard I’ll be exposing Mark and the inhabitants of this rural area to if I hang on the line too long, I launch into my questions.

Your new album spent a couple of years in production. What was the reason for the wait?

My wife contracted a virus Guillane Barre Syndrome a couple of years ago and was paralysed for a few months. I had to look after her and our two children so I didn’t have time to be working on an album. It puts things into perspective when something like that happens.

When did you go back to working on the album?

It was all recorded in 2006, just not released. The record company we were with, Setanta, went into liquidation in the meantime but then Dave Purcell from Hum Records asked to hear it and wanted to put it out.

Some of the lyrics on the album suggest a sense of disappointment with life. Is it important to have songs that deviate from common themes like sex, drugs and rock’n’roll?

Things go wrong in life. Even if you have loads of success, it’s depressing to be getting old, fat and losing your hair. I think it’s really important to sing about what you know. When I heard the new U2 song, I just thought ‘For f*ck’s sake, why don’t you write about what it’s like to be millionaires?’

Did it annoy you when a band called 'New Young Pony Club' arrived on the music scene?

It annoyed me but we already had two name changes so we weren’t prepared to change again. Their music is awful but if one of their fans buys our album by mistake, that’s great. I like to think of us as ‘Old Decrepit Pony Club’.

Are there any Irish artists you’d tip for 2009?

I’ve heard good things about Imelda May but, honestly, Irish bands tend not to inspire me. It’s a pity so many try to sing in an American accent rather than being proud of where they’re from.

What’s next for Pony Club?

We’re going to be performing a Girls Aloud track on ‘Podge & Rodge’ in a few weeks and going on an Irish tour in April. We’ll be releasing new EP’s every couple of months too. We aim be as big as Bell X1 by the end of the year…

Pony Club play Whelan's this coming Friday, 13th of February.

[Image: Myspace]

Inflicting Our 'Art' On The World Since 1986

"Men’s fashion frightens me. I really find men who are fashionably dressed terribly unsexy. I think fashion is something for women.” – Marc Jacobs

In this age of political correctness, men and women are supposed to be treated as equals. However, in the same way that sport remains predominantly male-orientated, the focus of the fashion industry is still largely angled towards ladykind. Whereas Kate Moss, Gisele, Manolo Blahnik and Vivienne Westwood are essentially household names, most people will struggle to name even a handful of male models or designers of menswear.

And yet, in response to men taking more of an interest in personal grooming and styling in recent times, fashion houses and retailers are beginning to regard male fashion as a more important component of the industry. The emergence of ‘metrosexuals’ may appear to have happened quite suddenly but, in fact, there were trendy men long before the advent of ‘Nivea for Men’ moisturisers and manbags. Here, we pay tribute to those responsible for some of the key moments in the evolution of men’s fashion.

Charlie Chaplin:

Charlie Chaplin was a celebrated director, composer, musician and screenwriter but his legacy is most likely to be his memorable on-screen character, The Tramp. Considered an icon of the silent film era, The Tramp’s tight coat, oversized trousers and shoes, bowler hat, and bamboo cane are instantly recognisable. Louis Vuitton has cited Chaplin as the main inspiration behind his Spring/Summer ’09 men’s collection so be sure to get working on those toothbrush moustaches, boys.

James Dean:

Legendary actor James Dean epitomised the ‘live fast, die young’ motto, dying in a high-speed road collision, aged 24, after his just three credited film roles. Despite his brief time at the top of the Hollywood roster, Dean delivered one of the most enduring images of the 1950’s when attired in casual red bomber jacket, crisp white T-shirt, light-wash denim jeans and hardwearing boots for his role as Jim Stark in ‘Rebel Without a Cause’.

The Beatles:

The Fab Four’s contribution to popular culture was by no means limited to music. Their experimentation with bright colours, floral patterns, Indian and influences in the latter stages of their career were certainly influential but, in the style stakes, they will probably be best remembered for their fitted collarless suits, ankle-length boots and mop-top hairstyles.

David Bowie:

Enigmatic musician David Bowie has enjoyed a career spanning multiple decades. One of Bowie’s most memorable projects was an album he recorded as alter-ego, Ziggy Stardust. An androgynous rockstar from another planet possessed of unnaturally red hair, effeminate choice of dress and an ambiguous sexuality, the Stardust persona is regarded as a major exponent of the glam-rock style of the 1970’s.

David Beckham:

Victoria Beckham frequently graces the pages of fashion magazines but her husband, David Beckham, is arguably the biggest style icon. Regarded as the patron saint of metrosexuality, the footballer admits to sculpting his eyebrows, occasionally wears nail-varnish and owns a jewellery collection that would put most female fashionistas to shame. The mohawk hairstyle he sported during the 2002 World Cup prompted millions of copycat cuts but his infamous wearing of a sarong back in 1998 will surely be his fashion legacy.

The Klaxons:

Indie hipsters The Klaxons spearheaded the so-called ‘new rave’ explosion of 2007. Centred around recycled 80’s fashion, new rave style often incorporates fluorescent colours, glowsticks, skinny jeans and jagged hairstyles. The Klaxons’ fashion philosophy seems to be “the more ridiculous, the better” and practically any fashion faux pas they make can be justified by claiming they were simply being ironic.

A blog-tailored version of a feature published in DCU's The Look Magazine, December in 2008 (minus the sub-editor's grammatical gaffes.)

Nary a 'Roysh' or 'Loike' in Sight

(published in Campus Magazine, December 2008)

In recent years, ‘X Factor’ has made the Christmas Number One a foregone conclusion and taken all of the fun out of the annual race to the top of the festive singles’ chart.

If you’re looking for a more interesting contest this year, the Irish best-sellers’ list could well provide it. In a battle between two of our country’s literary titans, Cecelia Ahern’s new novel looks set to battle it out for the title of favourite stocking-filler with ‘Mr S and the Secrets of Andorra's Box’, the latest instalment in Paul Howard’s Ross O’ Carroll Kelly series.

Howard’s residency in the best-sellers’ list is no doubt a great source of anguish to the various publishers who failed to see the potential in the author’s creation eight years ago when he pitched the idea of a book based on his RO’CK column in the Sunday Tribune.

“I wrote to every publisher in Ireland but nobody thought there was a market for the books,” Howard says. “The consensus was that women buy popular fiction and that women would never buy books about a rugby asshole, the kind of guy they were trying to avoid in pubs and clubs at night.”

Spurred on by mounting positive reaction to his weekly column, Howard decided to self-publish the first two books. With sales figures for the series now totalling 600,000 copies, his perseverence certainly paid off.

Howard’s writing career began after a summer job found him composing the 50-word blurbs on the back of postcards. From here, he moved on to a local newspaper before being recruited by the Sunday Tribune as a sports writer, where he started off reporting from schools’ rugby matches.

“I had quite a working-class background so it was quite a culture shock for me to turn up to somewhere like Belfield or Donnybrook to see these girls wearing two grand’s worth of jewellery throwing themselves at horrifically ugly rugby players.”

“When I was 17 or 18, I had very little self-confidence and I think I was quite a normal adolescent in that regard,” Howard says, “ but these kids had absolutely gargantuan, unshakeable egos. What really interested me was how these guys are heroes within their peer-group and the way they don’t seem to answer to anybody.”

Howard decided to write a serious piece of journalism that would explore the schools’ rugby culture but The Tribune’s legal team took issue with the prospect of an article depicting underage sex and drinking. It was then that the idea for Ross O’ Carroll Kelly occurred to Howard. “I invented this character as a way of venting my spleen about these kids without naming names or libelling anybody,” he says.

Eleven years later, Howard is still writing his weekly RO’CK column (albeit for The Irish Times these days) and has penned a total of nine books based on the character. He credits the success of the brand to Irish society “needing someone to hold a mirror up to their ridiculousness” in the days of The Celtic Tiger and the surge of interest in rugby in recent years.

Howard says the response to the character is “very gratifying” but reckons he will write two more books in the series before moving on to other projects. “I wouldn’t do anything as gratuitous as kill him off,” he says. “Who knows, maybe I’ll come back to Ross in thirty years’ time when he’s old and like his dad.”

Don't Look Back in Anger

published in Flashback Magazine, December 2008

There are few things more irritating than guests that overstay their welcome. Of course, there are things you can do to hint that you’ve grown weary of their company: look at you watch wistfully, repeatedly inquire about the precise details of how they’re getting home or, failing all else, produce all forty-two volumes of your family photo collection.

A recent encounter made it perfectly clear to me that, after five years in DCU, the time has come for me to say goodbye to this red-bricked haven for once and for all. I was trying to describe to a first-year student just how nerdy I had been in secondary school and figured that the character of Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell was a good point of reference.

“Saved by the whaa?” was her response. “Saved by The Bell,” I repeated (louder this time, reasoning that the poor girl must be hard of hearing.) She stared at me blankly. “Oh, come on,” I said. “Zach Morris? Kelly Kapowski? Mr. Belding? Only one of the most influential TV programmes of the early 1990’s?” She just shrugged her shoulders and said: “Sure, I wouldn’t remember that. I was only born in 1991.”

It’s a sad, sad day when you realise that your cultural references are out of synch with the youth of today and that it’s time for you to move on to somewhere populated by people who remember “the good old days” like you do. Perhaps more unsettling than this, however, is the notion that there are students roaming around this fair campus that are essentially ignorant of the remarkable period of human civilisation that was the 1990’s.

I can’t help but feel a sense of responsibility to ensure that these individuals are educated about Pogs, The Nanny Named Fran, Ace of Base and other such wonders of the nineties. As such, I hereby propose a mandate for the year two-thousand-and-nine to be replaced by two-thousand-and-nineties.

In two-thousand-and-nineties, Brian Cowen and Mary McAleese are given their marching orders as Zig and Zag take over the respective positions of Taoiseach and President. The decision as to whether we should rename the country as ‘Zog’ will possibly have to be put to a referendum.

MP3-players will be shunned in favour of tape cassettes and people sit for hours with two fingers poised above the record and play buttons on their ghetto-blasters in the hope of obtaining a home-made recording of the latest Lighthouse Family, M People or DJ Sash! song from Longwave Radio Atlantic 252.

Considering it currently screens Dawson’s Creek, Party of Five, Charmed and Ally McBeal, Channel 6 will overtake all other channels in terms of ratings and set the benchmark to which all other broadcasters aspire. Quality home-grown 1990’s programming such as Upwardly Mobile, Glenroe, Live at 3 and Kenny Live will be given a platform alongside Birds of a Feather, Home Improvement and Mr. Bean.

Counting down the Top 30 Singles and Top 10 Albums on Top 30 Hits each week will become a national event and Dave Fanning will once again grace our tellies on 2TV. A positively geriatric Linda Martin will win the Eurovision for Ireland/Zog after delivering a rousing performance of her Riverdance-inspired ditty, penned by Johnny Logan.

Children will also be catered to with screenings of Echo Island, Bouli and The Works (with Mary “Are you laughing?” Kingston) as well as international offerings like Are You Afraid of the Dark?, California Dreams, Pugwall and the aforementioned Saved by the Bell.

Pet stores will stock huge numbers of Tamagotchis and Furbies and there will be a facility for members of the public to trade-in their cats or dogs against these electronic pets.

In terms of fashion, Spice Girl shoes, tearaway tracksuit bottoms, Ben Sherman shirts and Levi 501’s will surge in popularity. Mobile phones will quadruple in size and models with the ‘Snake’ game will be most desirable.

Two-thousand-and-nineties will obvioulsy spell an end to recession as Ireland/Zog finds itself back in the early stages of The Celtic Tiger. Doomsayers and those who enjoy moaning about the economic downturn should not fret however, as issues such as foot-and-mouth disease, BSE and the Y2K bug will supply ample fodder for complainers and scaremongers.

If you’re still unconvinced as to the merits of two-thousand-and-nineties, just take a moment to consider how fun it will be at the end of the year when, as we’re gearing up for our return to the twenty-first century, we all get to party like it’s nineteen-ninety-nine.

As We Go On, We Remember...

My graduation ceremony took place on Monday, followed by the Graduation Ball on Tuesday, and I was quite surprised by the weird cocktail off emotions I experienced over the two days.

In some ways, I kind of didn't expect to be too affected by the whole process because I'm continuing on my studies in DCU and the fact that I'm probably never going to put my degree to good use diminishes the sense of achievement somewhat.

As such, I was surprised to find myself quite overwhelmed after the ceremony on Monday when I posed for photographs with my former-classmates. I just thought back on the past four years and the ups and downs I'd gone through with these people. At various points, some of them bailed me out majorly and I'm fully aware that, without their help, I probably wouldn't have survived the course.

Photo courtesy of Kevin Lennon

The Graduation Ball was also a surprisingly emotional affair. Despite the fact that I won't be leaving the red-bricked haven of DCU behind any time soon, there was a nice sense of finality about the night. It was lovely to have a chance to catch up with people who've played roles of varying significance in my life over the past few years and to wish them well.

Only time will tell how many of the Class of 2008 I'll be able to sustain contact with. It's been one heck of a ride, guys. Here's to you.

Photo courtesy of Allan Dixon

Photo courtesy of Steve Grimes

Photo courtesy of Lyndsay McGregor